Pokemon: Never The Same Again
by ThisIsATrapMahBoi
Summary: You know all that stuff you like about Pokemon... we're gonna make fun of it all through the silent protagonist. First up, Red.


_**Pokemon: Never The Same Again**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. If I did, I wouldn't writing this fic, and I'd be so rich I wouldn't spend any of my time on you.

You know all that stuff you like about Pokemon... we're gonna make fun of it all through the silent protagonist. First up, Red.

**X**

An old man appears in front of a blank back ground. "Oh, hey Professor Oak," Red tries to say, but no words come out. "Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon," the old man says. "Welcome? I've been here my whole life, professor," the suddenly mute boy thought. "My name is OAK! People call me the POKeMON PROF," the town's well known mind sure was stating the obvious. "Can you tell me something new, Oak. Why are you yelling? And why can't I talk. All these thoughts floated around Red's head. Oak continued to dribble on obvious facts, "This world is inhabited by creatures called POKeMON!" The young boy was getting pretty furious that Oak kept telling him things he already knew. Did the old man have Alzheimer's Disease or something? "For some people, POKeMON are pets. Others use them for fights," the senile man continued his speech. "Oh goody, I'm I going to get mine now," the soon-to-be trainer was eager to know. But he still couldn't talk. "Myself... I study POKeMON as a profession." "Oh, so that's why you're called a 'Professor'. Gee, I never knew that," it was getting on Red's nerves so much that he couldn't say that to the old man's face after all that the well known things the PROF kept talking about. Then the PROF asked something that sent Red over the edge, "First, what is your name?" "...RED..." was all our silent hero could say. What he really meant to say was "Oh, come on. I've known you my whole life. You know my name is RED. Did you bump your head or something?" "Right! So your name is RED!" "No, duh." Theis is my grandson. He's been your rival since you were a baby." "Naw, I thought he was the pizza delivery boy," flew through the youg boy's mind. "...Erm, what is his name again?" "Oh, for the love of... BLUE," was what Red meant, but Oak just heard BLUE. "That's right! I remember now! His name is BLUE," the annoying guy said, like he remembered on his own. Red just about fell over. "RED," Oak started to wrap up, "Your very own POKeMON legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with POKeMON awaits! Let's go!"

**X**

Red shrunk down and teleported to his room. "What on Earth just happened? Where did Oak go? And why was he acting so strangely," thousands of thoughts and questions like these stormed through the young man's brain. Red then with drew a potion from the computer using technology he didn't quite even get how it worked. He walked down stairs and went over his mom.

MOM: Right. All boys leave home some day. It said so on TV.

RED'S MIND: Good leason, Mom. Listen to exactly what the TV says. It's never lied about anything.

MOM: PROF. OAK, next door, is looking for you.

RED'S MIND: Uhmmm. I just saw him. Why didn't he come over here himself and tell me what he wanted? Man, this is a weird day. And I still can't talk. I need to figure out what's going on.

Red walked out the door to go to Oak's lab. But when he got there, he didn't find Oak. Well, he found **_A_** Oak, but it wasn't the one he was expecting. He walked over to Blue and decided to ask him where the PROF. was.

BLUE: Yo RED! Gramps isn't around.

RED'S MIND: Great. Well, I'm going to go look for him.

Red left the building and up towards the tall grass. Was stopped by none other than the always punctual PROF. OAK.

OAK: Hey! Wait! Don't go out!

RED'S MIND: I was looking for you. And why did you just come out off my house. Did you enter when I was in your lab or something?

OAK: It's unsafe! Wild POKeMON live in tall grass.

RED'S MIND: Oh, and here I was thinking they lived in my imagination. I had begun to think of myself as a loon. But then again, maybe I wouldn't have had to go into it if you were just in your lab in the first place.

OAK: You need your own POKeMON for your protection.

RED'S MIND: So, am I going to get one or what?

OAK: I know! Here, come with me!

The pair walked back to the professor's lab. Which Red would have never left and gone into the the tall grass anyway if Oak had been there. But that's neighter here nor there. They get there, and Blue is still there. Oak then goes on another long, boring lecture. After Blue is done being an annoying little brat, of course.

BLUE: Gramps! I'm fed up with waiting!

RED'S MIND: You've probably had to deal with this senile old man more than I have. I don't envy you, man.

OAK: BLUE? Let me think...

RED'S MIND: This is gonna be a while.

OAK: Oh, that's right, I told you to come! Just wait!

RED'S MIND: Oh yeah, waste another 5 hours of his poor life.

OAK: Here, RED! There are 3 POKeMON here! Haha!

RED'S MIND: Was there a joke that I missed or something?

OAK: They are inside the POKe BALLS.

RED'S MIND: Nope, they're on the bookshelf doin' the hula.

OAK: When I was young, I was a serious POKeMON trainer!

RED'S MIND: You, young? What, a billion years ago?

OAK: In my old age, I have only 3 left, but you can have one! Choose!

RED'S MIND: Aww... poor old man. all his other POKeMON are probably dead. And he's still giving me one of his remaining ones. You're a great guy, PROF. OAK!

BLUE: Hey! Gramps! What about me?

RED'S MIND: You on the other hand, BLUE.

OAK: Be patient! BLUE, you can have one too!

Red walked over to the table to check out his choinces. They were, from left to right:

**CHARMANDER**

**LIZARD**

**HT 2'00"**

**WT 19.0lb**

**Obviously prefers hot places. When it rains, steam is said to spout from the tip of its tail.**

**SQUIRTLE**

**TINYTURTLE**

**HT 1'08"**

**WT 20.0lb**

**After birth, its back swells and hardens into a shell. Powerfully sprays foam from its mouth.**

**BULBASAUR**

**SEED**

**HT 2'04"**

**WT 15.0lb**

**A strange seed was planted on its back at birth. The plant sprouts and grows with this POKeMON.**

Red decided to choose Charmander to go with his theme of well... red. Blue followed suit with getting the water POKeMON Squirtle. Red decided to leave with his new POKeMON, but Blue wanted to battle.

BLUE: Wait, RED!

RED'S MIND: What does he want?

BLUE: Let's check out our POKeMON! Come on, I'll take you on!

RED'S MIND: So you wanna battle? Alright, let's go, buddy!

**X**

BLUE wants to fight! BLUE sent out SQUIRTLE! "Go! CHARMANDER," Red commanded. "Hey, maybe I can only say certain things," Red thought. Red had Charmander use scratch. Direct hit! Squirtle used tails whip, lowering Charmander's defence. Red once again had Charmander use scratch, which would connect again. Critical hit! Squirtle used tail whip to lower Red's Charmander's defence again. Chamander once again used scratch. It connected for a third time! And another critical hit! Squirtle used tackle, and did 5 damage to Charmander's health. HP 15/20. Another scratch, and once again, a critical hit. Tail whip again. Man, Blue isn't very much in the brains department, is he? One more scratch lead to the end of the battle. Enemy SQUIRTLE fainted! CHARMANDER gained 70 EXP. Points! CHAMANDER leveled up to level 6!

**_ATTACK  
11_**

**_DEFENSE  
12_**

**_SPEED  
13_**

**_SPECIAL  
11_**

RED defeated BLUE!

BLUE: WHAT? Unbelievable! I picked the wrong POKeMON!

RED'S MIND: No, you just used that stupid stat move to much. Plus, Squirtle doesn't know any water moves yet. Not a bright one, are you?

RED got P$175 for winning!

After the battle and post battle dealies were done, Red left Oak's lab, ready to start his POKeMON adventure!

**X**

**Well, I hope you liked this parody. More to come! Stay tuned! Blargle!**


End file.
